How to Remember Everyone You Meet at an NIA Event. 

by Bob Miller

Has this ever happened to you? While attending an NIA networking event, you rapidly meet so many new people that you can’t remember their names?

You’re not alone. Recalling the names of five to twelve new prospects strains the memory powers of many business networkers. Name tags may help while you’re at the event, but not later. Plus, name tags don’t help you learn someone’s name because you’re just reading their name, not studying their facial features for recall later. Sure, you might have a stack of business cards after the event, but they may contain names without faces. So, if you see someone later, you either have to say, “Hey, you!” or admit to forgetting them.

It’s a common frustration that I can help with. When I attend the NIA meetings, there are often new people, but I have no problem calling them by name (no matter how many) and initiating a conversation after the event. Here’s how I learned.

For twenty years, my full-time work involved performing magic shows. Yes, I was a magician performing in a variety of markets, including corporate events such as company Christmas parties. At one show, I accidentally remembered everyone in the small audience. After greeting each person by name, I received spontaneous applause. I was happily surprised by their noisy commendation, and I realized people are honestly impressed by someone who remembers names. So, I decided to add this memory demonstration to my magic shows.

I eventually got so good that I could recall the names of up to 80 people. It was the most memorable trick in the show. The audience appreciated it because they knew it wasn’t a trick, I really remembered everyone in the audience.

When I transitioned to my current career as the marketing manager for a tech company, I found opportunities to use my memory skills at many networking events. After any event, I would often start a conversation with a new person by calling them by name, having only heard their one-minute commercial during the meeting. When I greet someone by name, they always stop to talk to me. For all they know, I could be an acquaintance from long ago whom they don’t remember. I hadn’t singled out just one person to network with, I really remembered everyone’s names so that I could greet anyone who came near me. 

Your prospects like hearing their name, and they’re impressed when someone they just met calls them by name. It demonstrates competence and care. And it’s good for business because everyone wants to do business with people they know, like, and trust. The first step is greeting someone by name. The name is the key to the business relationship door.

Name recall is a skill, not a gift. Anyone with average memory abilities can learn it. I don’t have a gift of memory or some other innate powers. I simply learned the mnemonic techniques and practiced at every opportunity. You can learn them too.

The Three Steps:

1. Look!
2. Listen!
3. Link!

Step one: Look!

Look at the new prospect and choose one striking characteristic about them that will probably be the same the next time you meet them. In other words, something more or less permanent. That means you shouldn’t choose clothing or jewelry because it may not be the same when you see the person again. (An exception to this jewelry rule is nose piercings which are often permanent.) Sometimes, it’s safe to choose hairstyle because that feature may not change much in a few weeks.

You’ll need to study their face as you greet them. Notice every feature: eyes, nose, ears, chin, body height, and width. Or look at their skin to discover moles, freckles, tattoos, or scars. Examples of features that may stand out are: bald head, facial hair,  furry eyebrows, small lips, extra-white teeth, long eyelashes, or a pointy nose.

If you can mentally convert the striking feature into a memorable object, then it will make a stronger memory cue. For example, “eyebrows like caterpillars,”  “waffle ears,” “rocket nose”, “face as red as a rose,” or “tall as a telephone pole.”  Don’t just use word cues, really imagine these objects. 

Step two: Listen!

As soon as you hear the name, repeat it back to the person, no matter how simple it is, because that will create a memory of you saying their name, and it will also ensure that you heard the name correctly. Some people will appreciate it when you take the time to pronounce their difficult name correctly. And the opposite is also true. Some people will take offense if you mispronounce their name.

I was at an event this year where the MC introduced a woman and pronounced her name as “Lorraine.” When she spoke, the first thing she said was, “It’s pronounced Loreen.” So, the correct pronunciation was important to her. After her message, the MC said, “Thanks, Lorraine.”  I cringed inside.

But names are hard because they are nonsense words. There is no dictionary definition for many names. They are literally meaningless. What is a Michael? What is a Sally? What is a Lisa? There’s nothing to imagine, so you need to create an artificial image to remind you of the name or part of the name.

For example, if the name is Michael, you could imagine (really see in your mind’s eye) a microphone. For Sally, you could imagine a salad. For Lisa, you could imagine a dog leash. The name image could be anything that reminds you of the name. It doesn’t have to start with the same letter or rhyme. I remember that the waiter at the Mexican restaurant is named Elvis, by imagining a guitar.

One warning: don’t think of another person because you’re trying to connect the features of the person in front of you to their own name, not through some round-about mental link to someone else.

A name image is an object that can be imagined, not just a similar word. Jan = janitor; Sareena = arena; Bob = bobber. After you practice, you’ll develop an entire mental dictionary of name images you can choose from to remind you of a name. At first, this may seem like the most difficult part of this method. 

Step three: Link!

You’ve chosen one single feature to make the face more memorable. And you’ve converted the name into an object that you can imagine. In this third mental step, you’ll link them together in a crazy or humorous image. For example, to remember me, you could imagine my bald head as a giant red and white fishing bobber. So when you see my beautiful bald pate, it will remind you of a fishing bobber, which reminds you of my name.

Here’s another linking example: Riley has a thick black beard surrounding his face. I imagined it as a large loaf of Rye bread he was devouring and digging into with his mouth.

It’s crazy, yes! That’s why it’s memorable. Weird is memorable. Boring and ordinary isn’t. This has less to do with memory and more to do with imagination.

 Imagination = Memory. 

See it in your mind’s eye and you’ll be able to recall it. This isn’t memorizing, it’s Imaginizing.

This is active listening. If you do any one of these three steps, you’ll have more success at recalling names. But if you combine them, you’ll be a memory rock star! You’ll be known as the person who remembers.

Just deciding to work at recalling names is an important first step, which will result in faster business and personal connections. But these techniques will take practice, so make a commitment to keep at it.

We have some benefits as NIA members that can help with name recall and review: 
• Name tags while at the event.
• A printed list of all attendees at an event.
• A webpage that includes photos of all members.

These can be used to review and practice the names of your group members. 

Review is needed for anything you want to remember. These mnemonic techniques aren’t like a magic pill that you take once and never have to work at again. They will require practice, but it’s worth it. I feel a great sense of personal accomplishment when I recall the names of everyone at an event. And I hope you’ll get that same rush by putting these techniques into practice.

I met a woman named Pam at a business event. A week later, I saw her at a luncheon. I greeted her by name and then said, “I’m Bob Miller.” She replied, “Thank-you for telling me your name.” She was silently confessing that she didn’t remember me and would have been embarrassed to admit it since I called her by name. The point is that everyone has trouble remembering names, and if you become that unique person who is good at names, then you should help your new friend avoid embarrassment by reintroducing yourself. The goal is to make the other person feel good, not bad.

Call a new prospect by name to help convert them to a customer and a friend. You’ll feel great and so will the person you greet. 

Bob Miller is the author of Remember The Room - How to Remember Everyone You Meet at an Event.

MemoryMagic.info